Bloghalla - Blog Courageously

Midwest USA, Sep 17 - With information trickling in, details of this lawsuit are sketchy at best. So far, it seems that a 39 year old nerd from somewhere in the Midwest, has filed the suit, citing the makers of the iPhone and MacBook computers “ruined his life”.  The suit also states the manufacturer showed negiligence on their part by failing to display proper warning labels regarding the addictive elements of their product. As compensation the suit is seeking 3.2 milion dollars and a new iPhone.

I can almost see it now. Why?

First: Americans are “Litigation Nutjobs”! We base the risky decisions in our lives on how much we could sue for if we get hurt or sick. That floor looks slippery. Screw it! This blah, blah, blah, company has “deep pockets”.  Besides, I’m almost 40 and you could buy a lot of prescriptions for pain killers if I herniate a disk or tear my ACL.

Second: It’s really that addictive.  Want to bitch about something? Post some feedback on the net with your iPhone.  See something funny?  Take a picture of it and send it to your friends with your iPhone.  Need directions to the house down the street?  Get directions to navigate the .25 miles to your friends house with your iPhone.  I don’t thing humans have ever seen “so much value” in such a small package.  Exception: Swiss Army knives and condoms.

C: It’s making me stupid.  In just one week, I no longer need to remember meetings, directions, phone numbers, web addresses, or what my kids look like.   It’s all right there in my pocket now.  I have also been giving myself about 10 extra minutes to get to work because just this week, I’ve missed my stop on the train at least 3 times.   On one of those instances, I actually had to ‘back track’.  I’m not proud of it.

We’re only scratching the surface.  Stay tuned.

Last week my company decided to take a risk and let me out of my cage. I’m a software engineer by trade and since I quit smoking, I rarely look up during a typical 9-11 hour day. To quote the scientist in the movie Independence Day, who played the android “Data” in Star Trek, “They don’t let us out much”.

For the trip, I bought a few of my favorite magazines (Popular Photography and Popular Mechanics to be more specfic) and resisted the urge to open them until I got on the plane. One of my colleagues, we’ll call him Chopper, was traveling with me and didn’t bring anything to read. I offered him something from my collection to which he replied with a tad of sarcasm, “Nah, I’ll just flip through the good ole’ SkyMall magazine”. Ok, suit yourself.

Before we could take off Chopper points out an interesting item. It was called “The Pet’s Observation Porthole”. The ad claimed it would help reduce your dog’s barking because he/she can see what is on the other side of the fence. Yes, that is until your dog realizes he/she can use it to see more shit to bark at!

As we flipped through the catalogue we stopped to laugh at the real “gems” and before we knew it we were landing. We saw the Coolaroo, Fling-ama-string, and a signed Don Knotts picture. I truely believe, with good marketing, you could take a crap in a bag and sell it.

Let this be a lesson to you creative, innovative people or, more importantly, those who think they are creative or innovative. There are no stupid ideas, just stupid consumers.

Midwest USA, Sep 15 - A man living in St. Louis has filed suit against Apple Computers, Inc claiming their hot Apple iPhone has “ruined his life”. The plaintiff nor the case specify the exact amount being sought in this potentially groundbreaking trial.

Well, it might happen! Here’s the deal. I have been wanting an iPhone for a loooong time. A really long time. Releasing the iPhone 3G was just like sprinkling a little heroin on top of crack. No shit! After the initial “mad dash” of customers, long lines, waiting lists, etc had died down, I made my move. Having it on good authority that stores had them in stock, I walked in to a relatively empty AT&T store, plunked down the credit card and walked out with my “little bundle of joy”. This is where it starts to go bad. Yes, that quick!

Before you can say, “Matt! Take the needle out of your vein!”. I was already addicted and no friends and loved ones interventions, 12 step program, or anonymous group meeting was going to do a damn thing about it. I was surfing the web on a real browser, sending emails, emailing pictures, you name it. And I wasnt even out of the store. Yes, I was absolutely screwed. (To be continued.)